Found this, thought it was funny:
Here are some instructions for installing a home security system yourself.
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter
1 comment:
Reading back thru this myself I am laughing because I don't need to go to the thrift store for the boots, my husband wears a size 14.
He also has spare ammo I could scatter on the porch. Bonus, 2 of my dogs bark at the sound of leaves falling so I always know if someone is within a 1/2 mile radius of my front porch.
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