I sat the 3 older kids down tonight to have a talk.
Because I've heard things.
Things I needed to clarify.
Apparently my kids and my sister's kids have been talking to each other. My kids have been asking their cousins what they know about the things that are going on around here. Did they have any info? The cousins were sent out on a recon mission. Their mission: to find out what their mom, my sister, knows about why Dad moved out and to report back any news. The only thing I told them on the first day he left, was that there was something broken between Mom and Dad and we are going to try to fix it. I told them it had nothing to do with them, they did nothing wrong,
My son has spent the last 2 weeks since my husband left thinking that Dad moved out because he was lying to Mom about eating junk food. He says he has been eating healthy when really he's been lying and eating junk! That is what my son has been thinking all this time.
So I assured him that we wouldn't have separated over a lie about food. They asked more questions than I was expecting. I answered as honestly as I could without giving details. I did finally admit that yes, Dad lied to Mom about something very serious and something that has hurt me and Dad has to figure some things out before we will live together again. I also made sure to say how hard marriage is and Dad puts up with a lot from Mom, and Mom puts up with a lot from Dad, that's just a part of being married. But there are some things a person just doesn't have to put up with. I hope I didn't say too much.
K broke out in tears. Apparently she was terrified that she was going to have to leave too because she got in trouble for lying a few nights ago. This broke my heart. Of course an 11 year old would see it that way. We had a good cry, and many hugs and yes, I turned it into a lesson about lying. I reminded them that No Lying has been our number 2 family rule since each of them was very little. No Hitting is our number 1 rule. It was a good talk.