I sat the 3 older kids down tonight to have a talk.
Because I've heard things.
Things I needed to clarify.
Apparently my kids and my sister's kids have been talking to each other. My kids have been asking their cousins what they know about the things that are going on around here. Did they have any info? The cousins were sent out on a recon mission. Their mission: to find out what their mom, my sister, knows about why Dad moved out and to report back any news. The only thing I told them on the first day he left, was that there was something broken between Mom and Dad and we are going to try to fix it. I told them it had nothing to do with them, they did nothing wrong,
My son has spent the last 2 weeks since my husband left thinking that Dad moved out because he was lying to Mom about eating junk food. He says he has been eating healthy when really he's been lying and eating junk! That is what my son has been thinking all this time.
So I assured him that we wouldn't have separated over a lie about food. They asked more questions than I was expecting. I answered as honestly as I could without giving details. I did finally admit that yes, Dad lied to Mom about something very serious and something that has hurt me and Dad has to figure some things out before we will live together again. I also made sure to say how hard marriage is and Dad puts up with a lot from Mom, and Mom puts up with a lot from Dad, that's just a part of being married. But there are some things a person just doesn't have to put up with. I hope I didn't say too much.
K broke out in tears. Apparently she was terrified that she was going to have to leave too because she got in trouble for lying a few nights ago. This broke my heart. Of course an 11 year old would see it that way. We had a good cry, and many hugs and yes, I turned it into a lesson about lying. I reminded them that No Lying has been our number 2 family rule since each of them was very little. No Hitting is our number 1 rule. It was a good talk.
Jan 30, 2010
Jan 24, 2010
18 month well check
Looking good! Kiwi had his 18 month well check last week. He weighs 24 pounds and is 33 1/2 inches long. I think he will be tall like his dad. Probably too soon to tell. His iron count was on the low side. Barely. He has been eating spinach smoothies and beans in absolutely everything since his appt. I'm not kidding. I have been mixing black beans in his yogurt even. Is it wrong that I told him they were blueberries? Actually, I think I was just telling myself that because it was pretty gross- beans in yogurt. Whatever, he gobbles them right up! He is trying hard to talk. He clearly says Mama, Dada, Ana and doggie. That's pretty much it for his vocabulary though. Not sure what that is about, but I'm not going to stress too much about it quite yet. It probably is just the fact that he is the baby of 4 kids and his older siblings will pretty much do anything he wants anytime he just looks cute. We know he can hear fine, so it's not that. He is completly vaccine free and is my healthiest kid by far! It seems his pediatrician has finally accepted that he's not going to get any vaccines. She didn't even give me her usual speech about 'the risks I'm choosing to expose him to'. Or maybe she could tell I was having a really rough day and just let it go this once. My husband had moved out of the house the morning of Kiwi's appointment. I think it may have been obvious I was having a really bad day. Here are some pics of my healthy, growing boy!
Here he is cleaning out one half of a spaghetti squash by himself. The kid loves his veggies.
At his check up. So cute.
His usual sleeping position. I'm not kidding. If it makes anyone feel better, his hands are not actually inside the diaper, just inside his pj's.
Here he is cleaning out one half of a spaghetti squash by himself. The kid loves his veggies.
At his check up. So cute.
His usual sleeping position. I'm not kidding. If it makes anyone feel better, his hands are not actually inside the diaper, just inside his pj's.
Jan 12, 2010
Like nails on a chalkboard
That's it. I've had it. I'm fed up! My older kids are bickering so much with each other lately that when they are doing it I don't even enjoy being in the same house as them, let alone the same room. It's gone beyond normal sibling pestering I think. I was sitting outside on my porch a few weeks ago waiting for the kids to get home from school and I could actually hear my kids before I saw them. A full 5 minutes before I saw them. They were 1 street over and I heard them yelling at each other. When I told them about this E said maybe their voices were carried on the wind and that's the only reason I heard them. (Good thing that kid is cute sometimes!) Seriously, who wants to be those kids' mom? These aren't the kids I've raised. I almost wonder if they are just acting out because their Dad is working so much, who could blame them really? I'm acting up because he's gone so much. Back to the issue though. I have made numerous attempts to end it. I have:
-calmly set them outside and told them they are more than welcome to come back in the house once the bickering is finished because I choose not to hear it.
-sat the offenders together, facing each other and told them they have to name 10 sincere things they love about the other person before they can get up.
-bound their wrists together with a bandana so that they are forced to work together as a team with whatever activites they have to accomplish for the rest of the night. Usually it's homework, eating dinner and doing their dish chore. This one is actually kind of fun to watch. I do let them take it off for bathroom breaks.
I think all of the above ideas are great, creative ways of making it their problem and not mine to solve. But it's just not working. Some brilliant, genius idea needs to come into my brain within the next few days or I'm just going to buy a pair of boxing gloves and lock them in a room together. That's how over it I am. Somebody remind me again why I'm so excited for Kiwi to start talking?
-calmly set them outside and told them they are more than welcome to come back in the house once the bickering is finished because I choose not to hear it.
-sat the offenders together, facing each other and told them they have to name 10 sincere things they love about the other person before they can get up.
-bound their wrists together with a bandana so that they are forced to work together as a team with whatever activites they have to accomplish for the rest of the night. Usually it's homework, eating dinner and doing their dish chore. This one is actually kind of fun to watch. I do let them take it off for bathroom breaks.
I think all of the above ideas are great, creative ways of making it their problem and not mine to solve. But it's just not working. Some brilliant, genius idea needs to come into my brain within the next few days or I'm just going to buy a pair of boxing gloves and lock them in a room together. That's how over it I am. Somebody remind me again why I'm so excited for Kiwi to start talking?
Jan 10, 2010
Jan 1, 2010
Top 22 list why 2010 will kick 2009's butt!
1. I will look in the freezer before I go grocery shopping, no more buying items in triplicate.
2. I will listen to the hearts of my children during unemotional times. Find out who they really are and why.
3. I will no longer deny that Friday is my favorite day of the week because that's when the mailman delivers my People magazine. There is no shame here.
4. I will not adopt a dog this year. I can't allow the amount of 4 legged children I have out number my 2 legged kind.
5. I will get my photos off the computer and into photo albums. This will probably be a year long project but I'm up for the task.
6. Quit trying to win approval from that one elusive relationship. Nothing I do will ever be good enough so I will stop trying. I will enjoy the freedom that comes with this release.
7. Dust my ceiling fans more than 2x's per year.
8. Quit grumbling every time I buy clothes for my husband. It's not fair that I should pay more for a "little" extra fabric to cover his bigness and tallness. I've married a giant, it's a reality I've got to come to terms with.
9. Give in and buy a new T.V.- 1989 called, they want their boob-tube back. And while I'm at it I will also get rid of dial up internet service.
10. Take a family vacation. Even if that means I have to get on an airplane.
11. Not audibly* sigh every time someone says "Well, at least he makes good money" when I complain about my husband being gone so much with work. Really people, you have no clue. *This technically means I can still sigh inaudibly.
12. I will aggressively fight back and win the battle over my health. I will do everything possible to avoid a hysterectomy. I am putting away the welcome mat and posting an eviction notice- Shad, Rad, and Bennie (what I've affectionately named my tumors) you've got to go. Sorry boys but my uterus is no longer your humble abode.
13. I will write more. Make plans so that when Kiwi enters kindergarten, I will go back to school and pursue my passion of writing. If my mother-in-love can do it in her 60's then I can do it in my late twenties.
14. I will be a better neighbor. I bake cookies when someone shovels my walk or mows the lawn but when is the last time I invited them to church?
15. I will clip Kiwi's nails more often. Seriously, he's going to take an eye out.
16. I will call Kiwi by his given name more often. I don't think the boy knows his real name.
17. Quit trying to hide that I say "Dude!" and "Awesome" a lot. Be a proud child of the 80's/90's and let my freak flag fly a little higher this year.
18. Spend more time with my children individually. Really single them out and zone in on my favorite.
19. Cut my hair. I only keep it long because my husband likes it that way. New deal: when he quits chewing- I'll wear my hair long.
20. Find a theater group for E to join. Help my husband realize that our son is not going to be an all-star athlete, but he may just thank us in his award acceptance speech and buy us that dream home of ours.
21. Not 'venti' size anything this year.
22. Quit denying that I have a 2nd strong willed child in my life. Obviously God has more faith in my parenting abilities than I do because I am the proud mother of not 1 but 2 of these blessed little beasts.
Happy New Year!
2. I will listen to the hearts of my children during unemotional times. Find out who they really are and why.
3. I will no longer deny that Friday is my favorite day of the week because that's when the mailman delivers my People magazine. There is no shame here.
4. I will not adopt a dog this year. I can't allow the amount of 4 legged children I have out number my 2 legged kind.
5. I will get my photos off the computer and into photo albums. This will probably be a year long project but I'm up for the task.
6. Quit trying to win approval from that one elusive relationship. Nothing I do will ever be good enough so I will stop trying. I will enjoy the freedom that comes with this release.
7. Dust my ceiling fans more than 2x's per year.
8. Quit grumbling every time I buy clothes for my husband. It's not fair that I should pay more for a "little" extra fabric to cover his bigness and tallness. I've married a giant, it's a reality I've got to come to terms with.
9. Give in and buy a new T.V.- 1989 called, they want their boob-tube back. And while I'm at it I will also get rid of dial up internet service.
10. Take a family vacation. Even if that means I have to get on an airplane.
11. Not audibly* sigh every time someone says "Well, at least he makes good money" when I complain about my husband being gone so much with work. Really people, you have no clue. *This technically means I can still sigh inaudibly.
12. I will aggressively fight back and win the battle over my health. I will do everything possible to avoid a hysterectomy. I am putting away the welcome mat and posting an eviction notice- Shad, Rad, and Bennie (what I've affectionately named my tumors) you've got to go. Sorry boys but my uterus is no longer your humble abode.
13. I will write more. Make plans so that when Kiwi enters kindergarten, I will go back to school and pursue my passion of writing. If my mother-in-love can do it in her 60's then I can do it in my late twenties.
14. I will be a better neighbor. I bake cookies when someone shovels my walk or mows the lawn but when is the last time I invited them to church?
15. I will clip Kiwi's nails more often. Seriously, he's going to take an eye out.
16. I will call Kiwi by his given name more often. I don't think the boy knows his real name.
17. Quit trying to hide that I say "Dude!" and "Awesome" a lot. Be a proud child of the 80's/90's and let my freak flag fly a little higher this year.
18. Spend more time with my children individually. Really single them out and zone in on my favorite.
19. Cut my hair. I only keep it long because my husband likes it that way. New deal: when he quits chewing- I'll wear my hair long.
20. Find a theater group for E to join. Help my husband realize that our son is not going to be an all-star athlete, but he may just thank us in his award acceptance speech and buy us that dream home of ours.
21. Not 'venti' size anything this year.
22. Quit denying that I have a 2nd strong willed child in my life. Obviously God has more faith in my parenting abilities than I do because I am the proud mother of not 1 but 2 of these blessed little beasts.
Happy New Year!
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